Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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