Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize