Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize