Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Is Oprah even human
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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