using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many bounce houses so little time
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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