google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Acid is not a monday night drug
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
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