He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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