i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Panties = found
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize