while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
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