he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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