I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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