Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize