So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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