I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
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