I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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