I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
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i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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