Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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