In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize