It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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