When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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