why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize