You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Welp...herpes.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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