You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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