I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
should my penis look like a turkey
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
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The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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