She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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