Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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