please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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