i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
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