i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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