Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize