capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Who died my cat blue again?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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