I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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