What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My breath smells like gin and sadness
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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