things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
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I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
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I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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