Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
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