Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
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We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I will pee on everything he values.
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Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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