Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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