How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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