i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
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You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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