Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
As shirtless as possible
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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