HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize