I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he thought i was a dude.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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