i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
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