Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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