Tell her she can't have a vagina
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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