Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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