Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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