If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
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