wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
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