i already hear my dad disowning me
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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